Family law
Many people face legal issues but are unsure which area of law applies. At Counselr, we aim to make Dutch law accessible to expats. This article explains the basics of family law in the Netherlands, especially for those in international relationships or with cross-border ties.
A good starting point is to ask: who is the conflict with?
If the answer is someone you love – or used to love – your case likely falls under family law.
What is family law?
Family law deals with legal matters that arise within personal relationships. It helps people make arrangements, resolve disputes, and protect their rights – often during challenging times such as a breakup or divorce.
Some common family law topics include:
- Divorce and separation – ending a marriage, registered partnership or cohabitation, and arranging practical matters
- Division of assets – deciding who gets what: property, savings, pensions, or debts, depending on any agreements
- Child custody and parenting plans – determining where the child lives, visitation arrangements, and who makes key decisions
- Child support – financial contributions from each parent to support the child
- Partner alimony – financial support from one ex-partner to another, in limited cases
- Parental authority (gezag) – the rights and duties of parents
- Recognition of parenthood (erkenning) – the legal process to be recognised as a parent
- Disputing parenthood – for example, contesting paternity or requesting a DNA test
- Adoption and surrogacy – legal parenthood of non-biological children
- Domestic violence – legal protection against abuse in family or intimate relationships
- International child abduction – preventing a child from being taken abroad without consent or securing their return
- Name changes – after changes in family status
These issues are often emotional and sensitive. When expats are involved, legal questions become even more complex.
Family law for expats – where to start?
If you are an international couple or family living in the Netherlands, two key questions arise:
- Which country has jurisdiction? – where will the case be handled?
- Which law applies? – which country’s legal rules are followed?
These are questions of international private law (also called international family law). Before solving the legal problem, you first need to determine where and under what law it should be resolved.
A fictional example (not legal advice)
To show how complex international family law can be, let’s look at a fictional example. Please note: this is not legal advice. Every real case depends on its specific details.
Imagine a couple with Indian nationality. They married in India and later moved to the Netherlands as highly skilled migrants. They have two children and decide to separate.
In such a situation, the Dutch court – for instance, in Utrecht – may have jurisdiction, since the family lives in the Netherlands. However, Indian law may still apply to the divorce and the division of assets, depending on the legal regime under which they married (e.g. Hindu, Muslim, Christian, or civil law). At the same time, Dutch law usually applies to matters concerning the children.
Because multiple legal systems are involved, Dutch legal professionals often collaborate with lawyers abroad – in this example, in India. This cooperation is essential for giving well-informed advice and reaching outcomes that work across borders.
Also, it’s important to avoid situations where a couple is divorced in one country but still married in another. That’s why legal recognition of a foreign court decision is a key step in cross-border family law.
Agreeing versus fighting – impact on time and costs
If both partners agree on how to arrange things, the legal process is simpler, faster, and cheaper. Mediation or negotiation with legal support often helps. Even then, the agreement must be written down and approved by the court.
If there’s no agreement, the legal costs rise – especially when foreign lawyers or court-appointed experts are needed to explain foreign law. The process becomes more complex and time-consuming.
Legal costs
In Dutch family law, each party usually pays their own legal costs. There are exceptions, but these are rare.
Many people think the ‘winning party’ can recover legal costs from the ‘losing party’. But family law isn’t about winners and losers. It’s about resolving a conflict. Both sides are expected to cover their own bills.
Legal framework – national and international law
Society has changed – and the law changes with it.
More people live and work across borders. Families hold assets in different countries. There are also many paths to parenthood. The law needs to adapt to this reality.
The rules on (international) family law are mainly found in:
- The Dutch Civil Code (Burgerlijk Wetboek), Book 10 – covering international private law [1]
- The Dutch Civil Code (Burgerlijk Wetboek), Book 1 – governing national family law in the Netherlands [2]
- EU regulations and international treaties – these are implemented into Dutch law (Books 1 and 10) and take precedence over national rules if there is any conflict between legal sources
Dutch law aims to strike a balance:
- On the one hand, families involve care and responsibility – even after separation
- On the other hand, adults are expected to take care for themselves where possible
This is reflected in legal developments. For example:
- Partner alimony – since 1 January 2020, generally limited to a maximum period of 5 years, with exceptions (e.g. for those near retirement or caring for young children)
- Division of assets – since 1 January 2018, only assets built up during the relationship are shared. Anything privately owned before marriage remains separate
These changes reflect a shift away from traditional gender roles. Today, both partners are usually financially independent and share caregiving roles. The law is adapting to this reality.
Not to be confused with inheritance law
Family law deals with living relationships – including separation, custody, and alimony.
Inheritance law deals with what happens to someone’s assets after they pass away. It follows different rules, which we explain in a separate article.
Conclusion
Family law is about finding fair, realistic solutions in personal conflicts – often at emotional turning points in life. When expats are involved, extra layers of international law must be considered.
If you are dealing with a family law issue in the Netherlands and are unsure where to start, it’s important to consult a legal professional – either a mediator or a lawyer. They can help you find a suitable solution to your conflict.
Find legal professionals specializing in family law
Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is for general informational purposes only and is not legally binding. Although we strive for accuracy, the content may contain errors. If you notice any mistakes, please let us know by contacting us via the contact form located at the bottom of the page.
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References
[1] Government of the Netherlands, Dutch Civil Code (Burgerlijk Wetboek), Book 10 – Employment Law, accessed 04/29/2025
[2] Government of the Netherlands, Dutch Civil Code (Burgerlijk Wetboek), Book 10 – Employment Law, accessed 04/29/2025